Beyond Self Care: Understanding Human Needs Through Psychological, Cultural and Indigenous Perspectives

Audre Lorde famously declared, “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Lorde argued that taking care of ourselves is not a luxury; it is a necessity, particularly for those facing constant oppression. In recent years, the concept of self-care has become mainstream, often commodified in ways that sometimes strip it of its deeper meaning. Despite this growing popularity, as a therapist, I have observed that many people still struggle with the fundamentals of taking care of themselves and each other. This article unpacks the essence of human needs through psychological theory, Indigenous wisdom, and actionable strategies. We’ll begin by exploring human needs through the lens of Maslow’s hierarchy and the Blackfoot worldview, examine how personal and cultural factors shape our relationship to needs, and conclude with practical strategies for meeting needs in a balanced way.  

Part One: Understanding Needs

Whether we embrace, resist, or even deny them, needs are an inescapable part of our existence, shaping our physical, emotional, and social well-being throughout our lives. Yet, many of us hold beliefs about needs that are untrue or unhelpful—such as “having needs makes me weak,” “having needs is selfish,” or “having needs is inconvenient for myself or others”. These misconceptions can disconnect us from an essential truth: needs are not good or bad, rather, they are a fact of being human. Having our needs met regularly is fundamental to the survival and well-being of ourselves both as individuals and as a collective. When our needs are unmet, we face threats to our physical and mental health. In contrast, “wants” are desires that enhance the quality of our lives but are not critical to our survival. While wants can offer comfort, pleasure, or enrichment, they do not carry the same weight as needs in terms of well-being. Understanding and addressing our needs is essential for living a healthy, fulfilling life.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is one of the most widely recognized theories in psychology. Developed in the mid-20th century, Maslow’s theory posits that human needs are arranged in a hierarchy, beginning with basic physiological needs and moving up to more complex psychological and self-fulfillment needs. The hierarchy typically includes the following levels:

1. Physiological Needs: Basic survival needs such as food, water, and shelter.

2. Safety Needs: The need for security, stability, and a safe environment.

3. Love and Belongingness Needs: The need for intimate relationships, friendships, and social connections.

4. Esteem Needs: The need for respect, self-esteem, and recognition from others.

5. Self-Actualization: The need to realize one’s potential and pursue personal growth.

6. Self-Transcendence: A later addition to Maslow’s hierarchy, focusing on the need to connect with something greater than oneself, such as spirituality or altruism.

Maslow’s theory has been widely influential in both psychology and popular culture, offering a framework for understanding human motivation. This theory has also faced criticism for its cultural bias, lack of empirical evidence, and rigid structure. The model assumes a strict progression of needs, but many modern psychologists would argue that human needs are more dynamic, fluid and nonlinear. Additionally, Maslow’s work has been critiqued for ethical concerns, such as appropriating ideas from the Blackfoot Tribe without proper acknowledgment. 

The Blackfoot Tribe’s Wisdom 

Maslow’s visit to the Blackfoot tribe in the late 1930s significantly impacted his thinking. He set out to prove one of his theories that dominance is a socially organizing principle across cultures. Maslow was surprised to find significant “levels of cooperation, minimal inequality, restorative justice, full bellies, and high levels of life satisfaction…He estimated that “80–90% of the Blackfoot tribe had a quality of self-esteem or self actualization that was only found in 5–10% of his own population”. The Blackfoot people have a rich philosophical tradition that emphasizes the importance of community and collective well-being. Their worldview contrasts with the more individualistic focus of Maslow’s hierarchy. For the Blackfoot, self-actualization is not an individual pursuit but a communal one, deeply intertwined with the well-being of the entire community. Maslow’s later addition and concept of self-transcendence reflects this influence, highlighting the importance of connecting with something beyond the self.

In the Blackfoot worldview, the highest form of self-actualization is not individual achievement but collective responsibility and the well-being of the community. Personal growth is seen as inherently tied to the health and harmony of relationships with others, nature, and future generations. Rather than prioritizing personal goals in isolation, Blackfoot philosophy emphasizes interdependence, where individuals thrive by contributing to the community's collective needs. Their ideas of wealth equated to generosity and not an accumulation of property, money or possessions; their closest idea to poverty was to “be without family” and was mostly unheard of. The Blackfoot also believed that people were born already “self actualized” and were inherently sacred, wise beings, in contrast to the Western ideas that these things were to be earned.

This communal focus challenges the Western psychological model, particularly Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which centers on personal fulfillment and self-actualization as the pinnacle of human development. In contrast, the Blackfoot framework situates self-actualization as an ongoing, community-embedded process, where the individual's role is to support the survival and flourishing of the whole. In this view, needs are not hierarchical but interconnected, reflecting the importance of nurturing relationships and responsibilities to the community, rather than solely focusing on self-improvement. This perspective encourages a shift from individualistic achievement to a more holistic and relational understanding of human fulfillment.

Note that a pyramid does not accurately represent the Black Foot's perspective and there is variation amongst different Indigenous Tribes. Seneca First Nation member and psychologist Terry Cross argues that the First Nation's perspective can more accurately be thought of as circular like a medicine wheel.

Integrating Blackfoot Philosophy with Maslow’s Hierarchy

To fully understand human needs, it’s essential to consider both individual and collective aspects. The Blackfoot philosophy teaches us that needs cannot be separated from the cultural and communal context in which they exist. This is also highlighted by Audre Lorde. Her famous quote about self care is often used out of the context of her larger body of work emphasizing the importance of community. By integrating this Indigenous wisdom with Maslow’s hierarchy, we gain a more holistic view of human needs. This approach recognizes the role of community-oriented practices in promoting well-being and understanding our needs as being interconnected and shared. 

Childhood Influences on Relating to Our Needs

Early attachment experiences significantly shape how we perceive and respond to our own needs and the needs of others. Research in attachment theory reveals that secure attachments formed in childhood help to foster a healthy understanding of needs as valid and important. In contrast, insecure attachments may lead to beliefs that prioritizing one’s own needs is selfish or burdensome. This foundational perspective influences our ability to ask for help, establish boundaries, and engage in mutual care in relationships. According to Dr. Jonice Webb, if a child’s needs were neglected, dismissed, or invalidated, they often grow up disconnected from their own emotional life, feeling shame or anxiety around expressing needs, or becoming overly focused on meeting the needs of others.They may have difficulty recognizing, articulating, or prioritizing their needs, often overcompensating by focusing on the needs of others or feeling uncomfortable in relationships where emotional reciprocity is required. Conversely, adults who were supported in their emotional development growing up are more likely to have a balanced approach to meeting their own needs while recognizing and responding to the needs of others with empathy and clear boundaries. Recognizing these patterns can be key to understanding adult relationships and fostering healthier emotional dynamics.

Sociocultural and Systemic Influences on the Relationship to Our Needs 

Beyond our family of origin, there are the greater sociocultural and systemic influences from our environments that also play a role in how our needs are met, or not met, and how we relate to ours and others’ needs.  

Blue Zones are regions in the world where people live exceptionally long, healthy lives, such as Okinawa (Japan), Sardinia (Italy), and Nicoya (Costa Rica). These communities share common lifestyle habits that promote longevity, including strong social connections, a sense of purpose, natural movement, and diets rich in whole, plant-based foods. The cultural values in Blue Zones emphasize community, simplicity, and balance, which foster environments where human needs—such as belonging, purpose, and health—are in general, organically met. Many basic human needs are embedded into these cultures; their people are not “swimming against the current” so to speak to get their needs met. For example, these people aren’t the healthiest communities because they have more willpower and go to the gym more often than the rest of us, rather movement is built into the design and function of their culture. 

In contrast, Western culture tends to prioritize individualism, productivity, and material success. This often leads to a focus on personal achievement and self-reliance, sometimes at the expense of community and relational support. Also important to note, systemic structures like capitalism and patriarchy often obscure our ability to meet basic needs, prioritizing productivity over well-being. This means that the way the culture is organized, we do need to “swim against the current” to try and be well. Oftentimes, we have to work hard or plan on how to get enough movement, connection and many of our basic needs outside of the flow of our day to day lives (i.e. long work hours, commuting etc.). Audre Lorde’s reminder of self-preservation is particularly urgent in this context. In Western societies, people may struggle to recognize or meet their emotional and social needs, as the cultural narrative encourages self-sufficiency and competition. As a result, individuals can become disconnected from their natural, relational needs, feeling shame or discomfort when they seek help or emotional connection. I find this to be very common in the therapy room; people struggling to identify their needs, feel comfortable meeting them, or asking for support.

Greater sociocultural influences shape how we relate to our own needs. In Blue Zone cultures, the emphasis on interdependence and balance means that people are more attuned to their own well-being and the well-being of those around them. Needs are not seen as burdens but as a natural part of life: met through community, purpose, and daily practices. In Western culture, however, the pressure to succeed individually may lead people to suppress or ignore their needs, resulting in disconnection from themselves and others. How societies prioritize or neglect these human needs deeply impacts our physical, emotional, and relational health.

When the cultural narrative emphasizes self-reliance, it can create a sense of discomfort or inadequacy when we find ourselves needing support from others. However, from the perspectives of neurobiology and evolutionary psychology, we are fundamentally designed for interdependence rather than absolute independence or dependence. This interdependence has been key to our survival and evolution. In considering this in the context of human needs, the concept of tensegrity comes to mind as a useful framework. Tensegrity is a structural design principle where different elements—like bones and muscles in the body—support each other through a system of tension and compression (see photo below to illustrate). There is an interplay amongst the components that allows for an even distribution of tension, and with each part playing a role in holding the tension; it allows for resilience, flexibility and balance. This is how I imagine a balanced approach to the needs of the individual and the communal. A concept which I am coining as “relational tensegrity”. This principle can inform how we think about meeting human needs, both individually and collectively. Just as in a tensegrity structure, our individual needs and the needs of the community are interconnected. This creates a dynamic equilibrium, where fulfilling personal needs contributes to the collective well-being, and the well-being of the community, in turn, supports the individual.

This picture shows the Needle Tower- a piece demonstrating tensegrity; it is held together through tension and equilibrium, created between the different parts.

Part Two: Practical Strategies

Emotions as a Compass

Psychologist Les Greenberg emphasizes that emotions serve as a compass, giving us information and alerting us when our needs are unmet. Identifying and working with our emotions can give us clues to what may be our underlying needs. For example, if we are sad we may need connection or comfort or when we are angry we may need to set a boundary or advocate for ourselves or others. We can use emotions as a compass for identifying others’ needs as well. For instance, if your child is angry and lashing out, you may consider whether they may have underlying physical needs for sleep or food or perhaps they need more emotional connection and presence;the emotion is communication of an underlying need. 

Identifying Needs

Some people may find themselves easily able to identify others' emotions and underlying needs yet unable to identify their own, while others may find themselves at the opposite end of the spectrum and can easily identify their own needs but struggle to understand others’ needs. Bringing awareness to where we are (on this spectrum), without judgement, may help to point us in a direction for growth. Understanding and addressing your own needs requires self-reflection and awareness. By identifying unmet needs, whether they relate to identity, attachment, competence or other areas of needs, individuals can take steps to meet these needs in healthy ways. Additionally, enhancing community well-being through building supportive networks and engaging in practices that promote collective health is crucial. A balanced approach to needs, one that considers both personal growth and community support, leads to more holistic well-being.

Human needs are complex and multifaceted, shaped by both individual desires and cultural contexts. By exploring these needs through the lenses of both Maslow’s hierarchy and the Blackfoot tribe’s wisdom, we gain a deeper understanding of what it means to care for ourselves and others. This balanced approach not only supports personal development but also fosters a sense of community and connection, encouraging us to continue integrating diverse philosophies into our understanding of human needs.

Menu of Needs

Just as an emotion wheel may help you to understand the range and nuance of emotions, you can use this menu to help deepen your idea of needs and identify specific needs you, your loved ones or community may have. You may print and circle specific needs you may wish to work on or you may use this to self reflect and journal (scroll below for guided self reflection questions).

Self Inquiry

Take a moment to reflect on the following questions. You may find it helpful to journal your thoughts.

• What needs in your life are consistently met? What needs tend to go unmet?

• How do you view your own needs? For example, do you believe having needs is weak, inconvenient, natural, or something else? Are your beliefs about your needs similar to or different from how you view others’ needs?

• Are there certain needs you feel more comfortable acknowledging or meeting than others? If so, which ones?

• How aware are you of your needs? Do you notice them easily, or are they difficult to identify?

• What feels more natural to you: noticing and supporting others in meeting their needs, or focusing on your own needs? Does this feel balanced in your life?

• Reflecting on your family of origin, how were your needs and the needs of other family members regarded? Were certain family members’ needs prioritized over others? Were some types of needs seen as more important?

• How do your needs intersect with your relationships, your community, or your cultural and spiritual beliefs, if applicable?

• What are some practical steps you can take to meet your needs more consistently?

• Within your capacity, how might you support others in your relationships or community to meet their needs?

• These questions are meant to encourage self-awareness and exploration, helping you better understand the role of needs in your life and relationships.

References and Resources 

Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. Basic Books. 

Gibson, L. C. (2015) Adult children of emotionally immature parents: How to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents. New Harbinger Publications.

Lorde, A. (1970). A burst of light and other essays. Broadside Press. 

Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review. 50(4), 370-396.

Webb, J. (2012) Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. Morgan James Publishing. 

More resources on Childhood Emotional Neglect: https://drjonicewebb.com/

Ravilocan, T. (2021, June 18). The Blackfoot Wisdom that Inspired Maslow’s Hierarchy. Resilience. https://www.resilience.org/stories/2021-06-18/the-blackfoot-wisdom-that-inspired-maslows-hierarchy/

Resource “The Emotion Compass” to help with understanding emotions and needs

​​https://emotioncompass.